Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Review: Halfway to the Grave

"You're not a woman," he said finally. "You're the Grim Reaper with red hair!" 
Halfway to the Grave is definitely not the book I expected it to be. Jeaniene Frost has basically written Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan fiction. Which isn't that bad if Spike is your favorite character. But that's not the case when it comes to me. I think I would've preferred Angel fan fiction. You know, the television show starring David Boreanaz.
David "Angel" Boreanaz
James "Spike" Marsters
So as you can see Angel is waaay hotter than Spike, but I guess that's beside the point.

Anyway back to the book. Catherine "Cat" Crawfield (I can't stress enough how stupid/terrible this nickname is) is a half vampire, half human, 20-ish, woman who lives in Ohio. She lives in freaking Ohio. I cannot emphasize enough how irrelevant the setting being in Ohio is. The entire time we never learn anything special about Ohio. I don't even know what city she lives in. I really hate the nickname Cat. It's like every teenaged girls way of trying to be covertly sexy. And right on par with Frost's disastrous attempt at making Catherine sexy she has Bones, aka Spike, nickname her kitten. That's right her nickname has a nickname. And even more catastrophic is later on we learn that she also goes by "Cathy" and then Bones give her yet another nickname "Red Reaper". As far as nicknames go Frost should never be allowed to give them out. 

Aside from the terrible nicknames everyone in this book has the plot is not as horrendous. Catherine has devoted her life to killing vampires because her mother was raped and impregnated by a vampire. Yes, that is how Catherine became a half-breed. So Catherine's mother has been guilt tripping her for her entire life and has convinced her all vampires are evil. Catherine believes this until her encounter with the infamous Bones.

Bones turns Catherine's world upside down. He gives her the opportunity to kill powerful vampires and promises her he will help her find her father. (I think she finds her dad in the second book.) Catherince eventually falls in love with Bones but doesn't admit it until she's slept with him at least twice. Honestly, Catherine's character is completely predictable and boring. She's pretty much a bigot and a prude (none of which makes a relatable character).

Overall, I wouldn't recommend this book unless you are an avid Spike fan. 
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